1. When i practiced the universal Loving Kindness exercise, I kept thinking to myself why do I have anger build up inside of me. I should let it go and move on with my life in a positive way. Am I angry that I worry about my children? Am i anger because of my job? or am I angry because of life? After repeating it over and over again I realized that I was angry at myself for letting it build up inside of me. No one around me will be happy unless I'm happy because people build off of other people energy. The statement made me think that I do need a change and it's time I do it. I felt empowered because if I don't love or respect myself then no one else will. I don't know exactly what to do in order to help other people find health, happiness, and wholeness but I will try. First I have to work on myself and do what makes me happy, healthy and feel complete.
2. The areas I have chosen to focus more on is pyschospiritual and biological. I need to figure out what my motivation in life is. Is it my family, or is it to pursue my dreams of being a nurse. Sometimes I lack the confidence I need and that's something I need to change. I shouldn't be struggling with being confident. This ties in with biological because it affects my fitness, nutrition and self regulation. If I have no motivation then i won't exercise, will eat junk food and won't have have a clear mind. This will affect me physically, mentally and spiritually which I'm trying to heal. In order to implement the change I need to figure out what my motivation is. Is it to lose weight? Care for my family? Make money? When I figure it out I will be on the right path of being complete in life. I will flourish.
Understanding reality and what the truth really is will help me change myself for the better. It's better for me to understand what is occur in my life through reason, sometimes its logically and other times it's not but I have to work that improving that. The best reason to come to my reasoning is by opening my mind all look at everything/everyone around me. I cannot stay in my own world and think everything is okay when nothing is logical. if I want to improve my life I need to focus on others around me.
The most important thing I need to work on is my emotion. My emotions control the way I act, my life and everything about me. Yes it is not healthy but I realize the harm it can do to me. In order to keep a balance emotion I will work on my self regulation and nutrition. If i have a subtle mind and body then my emotions won't feel clustered. I won't be stressed or angry at anything.I will like I am doing something right.
Hi Beverly,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed both exercises. I was able to reach deep into myself and admit to myself what I really and am struggling with. The loving-kindness exercise allowed me to see a totally different side of myself that I knew was there but just was afraid to express. I am a very closed in person and I put a wall up so no one will know that I do have a soft side and that I do hurt too. My life is a constant struggle and I am working each and everyday to make things better for me and my family. These exercises are helping me to acomplish these goals.
During the Integral Assessment I realized that my difficult area is biological. I am at a point in my life where my health is very important to me but I just do not have the constant motivation to keep up with my exercising. At one time in my life I was working out every other day and would get little 30 minute treadmill or elipitcal walks in throughout my work day. These things have become very difficult due to the stress of working 11 hours a day and having to do school work on top of it all. I have 3 children and a husband that need me. I am gradually getting back into my exercising and hope that I can get back to where I once was.